With that said... by the end of this post I will no longer be referring to him as "the baby", or "Baby Boy K2", or whatever I usually call him... since this is the longest we've gone without wanting to change it- I THINK we finally have a name for our baby.
I think choosing a name for any baby is hard. Both parents have to agree on the name. So many names get ruled out because we know too many *insert name here*; or oh I knew a _____ in high school/college and they were _____. When we chose the name Justin- it wasn't a name either of us fell in love with- it was the first name that both of us actually liked and didn't have a negative thing to say about it. Our last name can be tricky, and we had already decided on the middle name, "Dennis" after Matt's dad. Justin simply fit and now I couldn't imagine calling him by any other name. Matt thought that JD sounded like a great nickname for when he's playing high school baseball ;)
When we learned this baby was a boy, we started trying to think of a name. Like we did with Justin, we chose the middle name first. We decided that there were two names we would chose from based on what sounded better with the first name we liked. Matt's Uncle Mike passed away when Matt was eleven, and I've only heard great stories about him. We added Michael as a possible middle name. Matt's middle name is John and it is a family name as well- his Grandpa John passed away a few years ago. We knew we wanted to honor the names by choosing either Michael or John as middle names.
Choosing a first name for this baby was so difficult. We had so many "rules". I realized that whereas most children grow into their name and give their name an identity- this baby's identity will likely be defined by his name. I hope and pray that if his life does not- that his legacy will live on. There is a chance that his name is all that most will know him by. Without sounding hopeless (because we are not)- there is also a chance that one of the only legal documents bearing his name will be a death certificate. I do understand how morbid and upsetting that is to read. It has been very upsetting for me to think about. This baby needed more than just the first name that Matt and I were impartial toward.
When deciding on his name, as I mentioned earlier, there were a list of "rules" the name had to fit.
- The name would preferably be a biblical name. Once we chose not to terminate his life and to leave everything in God's hands- we knew a biblical name with a strong meaning needed to fit. It couldn't just be any biblical name- it had to have a meaning we liked. Old testament was preferable. I would like the name to be Hebrew.
- We had to actually like the name. Although there is nothing wrong with the names Jebediah, Moses, Bartholomew or Abraham (and Matt would probably love that they are also Simpsons references)- they aren't really our style. It was important to chose a name that we'd consider if we didn't know of his diagnosis.
- His name had to be one that was more unique. I didn't want a name that was very common. Although we hope for more- the Trisomy 18 prognosis is a shortened life. Like I said before, this baby's identity and legacy will likely be defined by his name.
- I wanted a name that didn't sound too mature since he likely won't have a chance to grow into adulthood. I also didn't want to chose a name that we'd always call him by a nickname- I wanted his given name to be the name we called him.
We went through two other names before deciding on this name. It seems like the third time's a charm and this name is holding strong.
We first liked the name David Michael. Many reasons for choosing that name- but it ultimately came down to me not feeling connected to the name David and it seeming too mature for this little baby. It came down to a preference thing.
Next was Daniel John. I thought of calling him Danny. We loved this name for many reasons, but it was ultimately too popular for us as we started thinking of all the Dans and Dani/Dannys we knew.
We went back to the drawing board and both made a list of names we liked that fit our "rules". I continued going back to one name time after time. This name fit all the "rules" we had for it. I felt an immediate connection to the name. This names honors both Uncle Mike and Grandpa. This brings me to tears typing it- but it's a sad but true fact that I may be the only one to carry this baby while he is alive. I am so blessed to be the one to carry our baby boy, but it's heart breaking I may be the only one. This name allows Matt to have a connection that I won't. He will also have the same middle name and initials as his dad.
I decided to read a little about this name in the bible and the verse I saw really solidified it for me. Religion aside- Matt and I have always wanted to raise our children to be good, kind, just, moral people. I think it's all that any parent hopes of their children. As I mentioned earlier- when Matt and I made the decision not to terminate our baby's life we chose to walk humbly with God.